A Photo is a Memory*

My daughter took this photo of me right after I read at the Newburyport Literary Festival in April of 2008.  I remember that day, how happy I was about being there. It drizzled most of the time.  My husband and our daughter joined me for the weekend. Everyone I met there was so welcoming.  The event honored Dominican poet, Rhina Espaillat, I was so moved by words, by the way in which she lives poetry.

I met great poets and writers, promised to keep in touch, exchanged scribbled emails and phone numbers, the kind of thing you do in conferences and festivals, knowing very well that may be this may not happen. People are so busy. I have no expectations, but think of them fondly.  One great Dominican poet wrote to me and added me to his face book. We promised to stay in touch, and from time to time he thumbs up me on something I posted, but I have not seen him since them. Time flies. 

I have been using this photo because it reminds me a good old time when my husband was a life, when life was full of promise,  it was five month before my life would change forever. I just did not know it.

I love this photo, the memory of this time, but when will it be too old for me to keep on posting it? When will I change and the me I used to be remain the same in the past?

The photo reminds me of being present, of accepting, of confidence and joy, of all of the love in my life before everything changed.  Life happened . My editor passed away four months before.  My aunt  also left us the coming year, an uncle the following, two mentors from NYU passed away two months after my husband in 2011, and my Zen teacher was diagnosed with breast cancer a week after my husband died.    There are times when life comes and take over, and it is how we deal with all of it that matters. 

So, here I am, the one who despite grief can continues to live and love life. A photo can say so much about a time, it’s before and it’s after. 

Find a photo and share what you remember.